We are all prone to get angry every now and then, right? You have only got to walk to your local shopping mall on a Saturday morning to see parents shouting at their kids (and vice versa!), people yelling into their phones or motorists arguing over a parking space or impatiently tooting their horns. Now anger isn't necessarily a bad thing. Oh no, for there is more than one type of anger.
Anger that comes from witnessing an injustice can be channeled effectively into taking positive action. If someone has ever said something disparaging about you and made you hot under the collar, you will know just what I'm talking about. Anger makes people stand up for what's right. Anger has been responsible for many worthwhile causes including the civil rights movement and securing women the right to vote in 20th century America. So dealing with anger means channeling it correctly, not becoming a placid person with nothing to say.
We have just examined healthy anger so now let's look at unhealthy anger. This type of anger can be brought on by the slightest provocation and is characterized by fury and hatred. Having anger on this level can cause existing relationships to break down and make it impossible to forge new ones. Lots of people whose violent acts have landed them with a jail sentence are there because their destructive emotions are too easily triggered.
Physically, there are many ways this negative kind of anger can show itself. You may feel anxious and stressed-out. Having other people around you may make you feel uncomfortable. People who are frequently angry often vent their rage at others and because of that, often find themselves alone with few friends. After all, it is not very pleasant for anyone, to experience this type of anger.
Perhaps you may identify with facets of this kind of angry behavior. Do you insist that other people do not offend or make fun of you?. Are the kind of person who demands that other people behave according to strict rules? Do you have a personality that dominates and overpowers others? Generally, someone who has anger issues expects everyone to bend to their will, while considering their own behavior to be totally reasonable.
This kind of anger often overwhelms someone to the point that it is all-consuming. It can affect them so badly that they not only physically attack other people, but also they will exhibit the worst sort of manipulative behavior that directly interferes with other peoples lives. Physical signs that you may well have serious anger issues include things like your heart hammering in your chest, veins standing out on your forehead or neck, fist-clenching and tense shoulders and neck.
If you want to conquer this sort of anger, you are going to have to alter your view of the world. In particular, it is your belief system that is responsible for your attitudes and therefore your emotions. Just saying you don't want to be so angry will not do.
So, what kind of thoughts do you have? Do you find yourself constantly thinking that life is unfair and you are going to get what you want, no matter who gets in your way? If so, you probably have anger issues that need addressing.
In order to alter your beliefs and therefore your behavior, you need to first of all accept that the world is a rich, vibrant, complex place where nothing is simply black or white. If you want to be mentally healthy and successful, you need to accept that you cannot dominate and control everything. Accept that situations will not always work out the way you want. Sometimes you do have to go with the flow. Be tolerant of other people. They are entitled to their views and opinions. The most successful and happy people are those who understand this and adapt and change as necessary.
Those who are strong emotionally have well-balanced attitudes. They accept that no matter what they do, life will still put obstacles in their path. They look at life philosophically and do not waste time feeling depressed. They are well-disciplined and you must strive to be like them if you are to change your feelings of anger. Having decided what your new attitudes are, you must constantly work at them until they become second nature.
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